Swan ([info]queenostara) wrote,
@ 2009-05-10 00:16:00
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"Why smart girls don't marry for love" or "why shit like this pisses me off"
Now granted, AOL interviews can't be terribly credited for being terribly intelligent, however, I can't help but be disgusted by this http://www.aolhealth.com/healthy-living/relationships/marry-for-money

I mean... really? So because our society is ridiculous women should just smarten themselves up and marry for money? Right? Because that's totally progressive right?

Wrong. I'm honestly too tired to flesh this out appropriately but CHRIST. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? So instead of insisting that husbands do half the work and be just as willing to take time off for kids and trying to... I don't know, DO something to even out the pay gap between men and women you're seriously just telling women to suck it up and instead marry a rich dude?

Gimme a break. And while you're at it, why don't you stop ruining shit that the two waves of feminism fought so hard for? Gah.

I suppose this makes me angrier than it should since I'm still slightly prickly thanks to a comment of my sister's on the fact that my boyfriend and I don't often go "Dutch". But that I feel is a post for another day. Particularly a day when I'm not drunk and fuming.

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[info]sugar_for_sugar
2009-05-11 08:01 pm UTC (link)
Holy. Fucking. Shit. I'm not even reading the article (not yet anyway) because just the title is enough to piss me off.

Hmph. I'm a 27 year Old Maid, and by gods I'll stay that way 'till I'm FORTY-seven before I'll marry some man just to advance my career or sponge off his.

Back in The Day, it was traditional, accepted, and practical to have marriage not mean much in terms of bonding, mutual affections, or partnership. Marriage was an affair of business or familial connection or rank/status... some form of socio-political posturing, a convenience, and often arranged. I suppose I oughtn't be surprised to see someone advocating going back to that, with the way the crazy people are fighting gay marriage like it's going to tear the fabric of society apart by the seams or something, but... come ON! Really, I'd have thought us at least a LITTLE more evolved than that kind of bullshit by now.

Nowadays, marriage isn't even always about kids (which I think is what the focus changed to more as time went on and marriage evolved... why do people think marriage has been the same for a bazillion years? It's always changing!). A lot of people just want someone to shoulder life's burdens with, a friend who lives with you, maybe has sex with you, certainly has fun with you, and helps you do stuff like the dishes and is tied in complicated ways to you financially.

I'd rather have that than some... disinterested cash cow, any day.

UGH.

I don't even know... just UGH.

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[info]queenostara
2009-05-13 01:04 am UTC (link)
"I'd rather have that than some... disinterested cash cow, any day."

This. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for being sensible and waiting to get married till both parties are at least reasonably financially stable. My parents were not and struggled a lot and that was a source of immense bitterness for the both of them. Trust me, that certainly isn't something I want at all. And the more optimistic side of me is trying to believe that the intent of the book discussed in the linked article is merely to tell people to be sensible. However, I can't ignore the blatant sexism in the fact that it's targeted at women. How many books like this are written for men? Yeah, that's what I thought. Gah.

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[info]morrigan32
2009-05-11 11:04 pm UTC (link)
going "dutch" isn't usually what we did when we were dating either. I had a full-time AND a part time job, and he was in school...so I usually paid. Now, he makes almost twice what I make, so he usually pays for everything (i know we're married and it's "our money", but sometimes I still wish I could take him out like I used to and have it be my treat). treating someone just means that you like them (whoever's doing the treating!) and i'm sure whoever is being treated is being gracious and accepting it as a treat, rather than being stubborn and causing no date at all to happen due to lack of funds.

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[info]queenostara
2009-05-13 12:47 am UTC (link)
EXACTLY! And actually, I'm not the one who pays for everything. If I had to make a guess, I'd say my boyfriend might pay for a tiny bit more than I do but I'm not sure. We generally tend to try to split things down the middle and I don't understand why that's such a bad thing. I've been with the dude who pays for everything and let me tell you, it was SUPER awesome when he was an asshole about paying for shit after he found out I wasn't going to have sex with him. Pissed me right the fuck off I can tell you because not only did it make me feel like some kind of fatty whore who could be bought off with food but he acted like I'd deluded him when all along EVERY single time he wound up paying for something it had only been after a bitter fight between the two of us where I'd only relinquished because quite frankly, I'm not a fan of fighting with my friends. Which is, you know, what I thought he was.

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[info]morrigan32
2009-05-17 05:21 pm UTC (link)
Who pays for what should not be an issue...at all. I've been in situations where the guy paid for everything because he was 19 when i was 16 and he was more capable, i've been in situations where i paid for everything down to buying the guy a coat because his parents were disinterested in his ability not to starve and freeze, and i've been where it's split along the middle. as long as no one is resentful, who the hell cares???!!!

P.S. whoever was mean to you, I will team up with Charlie and we will have an asskicking party!
P.P.S. I CAN be bought off with food, lol :-p

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